Hello and welcome to episode 21 of The Ask Sri Vishwanath Show. Today I want to talk about how you get over the grief, the pain of losing a loved one. What does Krishna suggests you do.
Today’s question comes from Gale who lives in Australia. He says “I lost my beloved wife and life partner of 20 years. I’m unable to get over the grief. Do you have any suggestions?”
That’s a really tough question to answer. Only those who experience this can truly know what it’s like. The death of a loved one can be the most difficult thing to get over. Remember time is a great healer. My prayers, blessings and love go out to you in your time of grief.
Today we will talk about what Krishna suggests. In the Bhagavad Gita after Arjuna puts away his arrows and says he will not fight, Krishna says to him “you grieve for those who call for no grief and yet you utter words of wisdom. Oh Arjuna, the wise grieve neither for the dead or the living”
I want you to say that again to yourself. “You grieve for those who call for no grief and yet you utter words of wisdom. Oh Arjun, the wise grieve neither for the dead or the living”
Arjun is grieving because he has to kill his teacher. The one who taught him everything. Bishma was the one who took care of him and taught him how to fight. Remember what Krishna says to him: You grieve for those who ask for no grief. Yet he utters words of wisdom. Wise people grief neither for the living nor the dead. Krishna says that this situation is not worthy of grief. I know that may be hard to understand bit just stick with me.
Krishna says that it doesn’t make sense to grieve for that form or that body anymore. He goes on to say that “there was never a time that you and I did not exist. You know them not, I know them all.”
She is everlasting
Krishna says that wise beings should not grieve for the living or the death. This is because Krishna says that the same person has died earlier and will die again in the future. What’s really important is the consciousness. You came in contact with the consciousness and that will never die.
I would suggest that you try meditating. If there is anything that can help you get over the death of a loved one its meditation. Meditate on the knowledge of Brahman. I would like you to write down this verse and meditate on it every morning.
“You grieve for those who call for no grief and yet you utter words of wisdom. Oh Arjuna, the wise grieve neither for the dead or the living. There was never a time when you or I did not exist. You know them not, I know them all. ”
When you do this you will find that all the emotional blocks will open up within you. This will bring you comfort. As you do this I would suggest that you write about some of the wonderful moments you spent with your wife. Write 3 or four points every day and think of them in your mind as you meditate.
Meditation is important because it really helps you to focus. Even if you only spend 10 minutes doing it every day you will see great benefits. When you get rid of the emotional blocks you’ll only be left with wonderful moments. When we encounter grief it’s because it’s a personal problem and not because of an event. This is really important. So meditate on all the wonderful moments you spent with her and that will open up all the blocks.
She is happy
Secondly, I want you to know that your wife is perfectly fine. The first point I made was for you to be able to get over your grief but I want you to know that she is OK. Wherever she is now, she is happy.
Krishna says “that which is without me, mobile or stationary exists. There is not place where my consciousness does not exist.”
Place know that she is in the safe hands of Krishna, Christ and the consciousness. She is fine. She is happy. Have that confidence that Krishna and Christ bestowed upon you. There is another verse I would like you to meditate on and this will help you know that she is safe and happy. It will help calm your fears and worries.
“Him the weapons cannot cut, fire cannot burn, water cannot wet, wind cannot dry. The self cannot be cut, dried, burned or wetted…Eternal, all pervasive, stable, immovable, everlasting the Self Reigns”
Your wife’s soul cannot burn, it cannot get wet and it cannot be cut. It is eternal, pervasive, stable and immovable. It is everlasting. She will exist forever. You can find her everywhere. Send out blessings to her and in return she will bless you. Remember she is always with you. Her consciousness will always reign.
Remember these two verses. The first one is for you to help you realise that you don’t need to grieve. Your wife does not want you to grieve for her. She is happy and she wants you to be happy as well. She existed then, she exists now and she will still exist in the future. The same applies to you. This will help you to see things clearly.
The second verse is for her. Know that she is perfectly fine and that she is happy and at peace. She cannot cut, burned wetted or moved. Her consciousness will be everlasting. She will be taken care of by Krishna and all the other great beings. So meditate on these two verses and I think that you will see differences really fast. Possibly in as little as one week. I would love for you to try this and email me I a couple of weeks to let me know how you are doing. I know you will be OK though. You will find comfort.
I hope I answered your question. Remember you keep asking questions and I’ll keep answering them.