Welcome to episode 48 of The Ask Sri Vishwanath Show. Today I want to talk to you about the secret behind forming meaningful relationships.
Today’s question is from Judy, from Connecticut. She says: “I’m terrible at forming relationships. I want to get along better with my mom, dad and brother. What am I doing wrong?”
Well Judy, the truth is that most people do suffer in relationships and often the more you love someone, the more you suffer! First of all, I want to say well done for being aware of the issue. That’s the first step.
I have some great tips for you. Krishna says the number one mistake people make is trying to form relationships with others before they have formed a relationship with themselves.
Form a relationship with the God within
This is vital. Before you form with relationships with others, form relationships with the god within. Krishna tells us that if you skip this step then your current personality will be exposed and you’ll experience negative emotions like anger, hatred, sadness, jealousy and loneliness.
When you form a relationship with the God within you’ll find yourself feeling complete. You’ll then experience a host of positive emotions such as joy and fulfilment. Remember everything inside you is reflected in others and is then bounced back like a mirror. We make the mistake of thinking that it’s the other person who’s at fault when, in reality the negativity comes from within.
This in turn causes confusion as we think we’re are being loving and the other person is source of all this pain. The truth is that the pain is originating from you.
What is going to broaden your personality?
How can you keep loving and not get hurt? Krishna says the way to do this is to build loyalty. So how do we do this?
Judy, let’s say A is you and B is your partner or family member
Your current personality and all its great qualities are meeting their personalities. Slowly all those positive and negative aspects of you will seep over and then be reflected back.
Both of you may currently love each other. I don’t want to suggest otherwise but what happens is that lots of other lower vibrational aspects get in the way. A relationship that’s based on your current personality can quickly burn out due to inherent deficiencies prevalent in the domain of body, mind and intellect.
For example take the relationship between children and parents. When you’re young you hang on your parents every word. You want to obey them but when you grow up, you yearn to do your own thing. Parents don’t like it but they can’t do anything.
A relationship that’s formed in the body and mind will never last. Krishna says the answer to this is loyalty to the God within.
The Secret of Forming Two Relationships
Judy, the pain which is reflected from you in others will only be absorbed through loyalty with God. You need to form two relationships. One with the God within and the other with the people around you. This way all that pain will be absorbed in loyalty.
This is what Krishna calls Dharma. Make sure you write this word down. This is the single most important word in Sanskrit language. It means loyalty to the God within. All the pain that you experience will be dissolved in the ocean of your consciousness instantly.
You will not even look at it as ‘pain’ you will not even feel the pain because you would have transcended your vibration from the domain of body, mind and intellect to your consciousness. This is easy. All that it requires is practise. Follow this advice and you’ll find yourself bursting with power, joy and love.
Your consciousness is the key to unlocking all the greatness within. Pain will not dare to come close to you once you figure out these two secrets:
- Acknowledge that all pain in relationships originates from my current personality and is reflected back to me through the personality of the other person.
- When I form two relationships one with the God within and the other with people around me, all the lower vibrations in relationships will get dissolved in the power of my higher vibrations generated from my loyalty to the God within.
Krishna says: “As the different logs of wood come together on a wide ocean and having drifted for a while depart, so also men, women, father, mother, brother, sister come together for a while and then depart”
This is a valuable life lesson. We come together in life and depart at the end but while we are here we must strive to build meaningful relationships. I hope this answers your question Judy.
Remember you keep asking questions and I’ll keep answering them.